I can’t believe it is almost October, before we know it, it will be Halloween and then the Christmas countdown will begin!
But at the moment I am not even thinking about either of those things. I am counting down to flying back to the UK to attend the Awards we are finalists in on 16th and 24th October (mumandworking ‘Best Working Parent Blogger’ and Baby London’s ‘Best New Baby Product 2014′). My dresses are ready, hotels are booked and tickets received – but what I was not prepared for was the rising panic inside me at the thought of leaving my four boys for 16 days whilst I fly back to the UK. The longest I have ever been away from them was 4 nights when I went away with one of my dear friends for our 40th birthdays.
I know they will be fine – they are with their dad … if they have to eat fish finger sandwiches for the whole duration I am away, I know they will survive – but it’s the thought of not having them at hand for a cuddle, or seeing that cheeky look that makes me burst out laughing, when I am trying to tell them off! It’s the knowing that if they need me I can not get to them quickly.
And I worry about how my husband will cope – he has taken the time off work, but I don’t think he really knows what he is letting himself in for! Will he be able to keep his calm as he has to tell the boys for the 10th time to get their shoes on ready for school? or will he remember to cut the crusts off Jacobs sandwiches? – as otherwise he won’t eat them, or that you have to hide Phoenix’s medicine in his school juice otherwise he won’t take it, or that Jude needs to take his Library book in on Wednesday where as Ben’s is on a Thursday and Jacobs and Phoenix’s on a Monday. Will he remember that the washing needs to be put on whilst you run the boys to school to make sure they have clean uniform for the following day? and that he has to check that Jude has his pants on – as he tends to hide them under the bed and go commando! All things that I just do automatically – they are my job!
Let me be honest – yes I am looking forward to flying solo – I might actually get to watch a film or even sleep! And seeing all my friends and family will be fantastic – but not being with my husband and boys – it will seem like a part of me is missing! and I know that after the first few days I will be longing to see them and give them a great big squish!
I have no doubt that my time in England will fly by, I am going to be so so busy, with business meetings, awards, getting new publicity photos taken with Tracy (something we both relish – not!) and catching up with everyone who wants to see me – in fact I don’t really know how I am going to fit it all in.
I am sure the awards will be amazing too – me and Tracy are still pinching ourselves that we have gotten this far and it is a real recognition of how far we have come together (we may even get to drink that glass of champagne that we have had on ice for so long!) but that knot that I get in my stomach when I think about leaving my boys truly does tell me that – Home is where the Heart is!